Monday, January 14, 2013
I so missed you guys. At first, I took the end of December off into the New Year just as my way to spend some time preparing for the amazing entrance of 2013. I later saw that this year was going to begin a little different than I expected. In the beginning, I was very upset. That was my initial reaction. However, during this time I have been given some amazing insights and topics to share with you!
Now looking back, I feel like it was simply a reminder not to let the little things get in your way or disrupt your day. There is a reason that things occur even if we do not see it at the moment. As complex as life can be, there is also a place of simplicity. At the end of the day, if we are able to release our expectation of how things should go, we can have a better experience. This applies to people as well. I recently found myself in a situation where had to realize that I had placed some unreasonable standards on someone in my life. Not only did they not ask to be in the position I put them, I neglected to tell them that they had that place in my life. It is almost like hiring someone for a job for which they did not apply nor ask to be hired but yet you fire them for not doing the work.
Changing this mindset is not an easy thing but it is doable. It takes a lot of work. However, first you must be willing to look at why you expected that from them in the first place. When you have a void or unfinished business in your life, it is easy to try to heal an old situation with something new. For example, if you lose touch or have a fall out with your brother or sister, you may try to create another “sibling.” You did not even tell the new person that you have selected them as your family yet when they do not act like what you need, you are upset and offended. The best way to heal the situation is to work to deal with the issues around your actual family thereby exonerating anyone else from living up to that standard. Also, if you have responded in a way that has ruined the relationship with your "replacement," then you may need to 'fess up. No one desires to be mistreated because of your baggage.
The past often holds us captive. It is worse when the original issue is with someone who is deceased or unwilling to speak to you at all. Closure becomes unobtainable that creates a desperation. The one thing to remember is that often times desperate actions lead to desperate results. You may have to seek outside help but you have to get to a place of letting the issue go. Once you release the expectation, the expectation will release you.